Im back

I came here to tell a story that is what i will do, wether you here hear to listen or judge please hear me when i say i will never judge you. i been away writing poetry it makes me feel better i write my heart and soul out i share it to everyone who is willing to read my heart. my life has its ups and downs. the roads as been rough, hard, dark and cold. i have been trying to see the light at the end of the road. i look up at the sky and hope for a better day. in fact i wish on it but sometimes wishes never come true. when i feel down; when i feel like there nothing to bring back my happy spirt i sing my heart out when I'm alone. i write. i laugh. and i smile at strangers and hope that i will be happy again. i feel like my life is spiraling down, lately i thought everything was ok i thought finally here is my happiness waiting for me. but when i finally reached out for it, it kept moving away from me. telling me i wasn't ready for it, you have much pain to endure. but that silly right? i can be happy if i try i just need smile and laugh. 

I want to write everyday, here at my blog share my thoughts and feeling with you. pour my heart out to everyone. i want to tell my story and i want to do it right. i want to do it my way. please be gentle my heart is weak. i had to many people think they can push me around and think its ok to play with my emotions. will its not, it is not ok. i don't like it. i know you wouldn't like people playing with you.

So lets begin with to day.

I had a dream about my ex boyfriend to be honest as much as i loved him in high school i don't love him now but i have strong feelings for him feeling i wish i didn't have. I'm currently in relationship its been one year and 8months. this is the 3rd time we dated and its been working so far. we have problems but nothing bad. anyways when i think of my ex boyfriend it makes me feel distance and sad. it makes me want to see him and get answer for the question i have. but i will never get them because he ignoring me. why? becuz i tried to stop him from making the biggest mistake of his life. he didn't listen of course and he hurt me. in return she hurt him. thats karma i guess? he still doesn't talk to me but oh well right? don't talk to me fine. he knows i was the only person who never hurt him i stuck by him. what do i get? a broken heart, lies, and bad gossip. i want to forget him and everything we did together so i can make my relationship work. i love this guy i hope to god he doesn't hurt me. i opened my heart up to him. i guess we will see where it goes. 

the end for the day

Love~ Rylee