upset

i guess being happy is a lot to ask for in this life. i got upset to day becuz i was looking forward to going to venice beach with my bf. its one of my fav beaches i look forward to going ever time. i didn't get go today becuz he "fell asleep" at his house. i got upset and i was hurt. i put my hopes up and he left down. i hate doing that. i always do that. i get hurt at the end all the time. its always the same. the fight we got into today got out of control. we almost broke. in fact i think i did. idk. we don't know where we stand. i some part of me doesn't care. i feel worthless. i fell stupid. i don't know y he wastes is time with me. all i wanted was to go to venice. was that to much to ask for. its my fav places. i don't like going alone, i love spending time with him. (sign) somethings just weren't meant to be. i guess what say is true. " no one cant hurt if your alone "  or something like that. i keep pushing ppl away. i don't mean to. i just think there better off without me. i just dont care about life anymore. its a painful. life hurts. im always had enough of it. i hate feeling this way. i try to change it but i can't. its hard. its really hard.

life a bitch

sorrow

I don't like to feel forgotten. I makes me feel like I'm not in the world anymore. like my life doesn't matter to people sometimes I feel like I'm just anther person in the world with no meaning. just put here on earth to feel pain and loneliness. do I matter? I just want what everyone wants. to feel happy an loved. to have life feel like a fairly tail. expect I need to be saved from my self. I mean, I just feel so unhappy so lost and forgotten. is it wrong of me to complain? I feel like I need to put up this image. I need to be excepted, I'm welling to go what ever it takes. sometimes I just don't know what to do so I sit here and cry and draw what I draw. drawing wroth a thousand words. so what can u see from mine? pain and a broken heart. so much unhappy pain. words cant express how feel so  draw it out and no one cares to notes. how much pain I'm in. people think oh hey its just a cool drawing but i see so much more then that. so much more... I just want it stop. all of it. cry out for help with out saying the words help me please. but no one notes that shows you how much people care about you.