Forgive & Forget

I go by a phrase Forgive & Forget. I'll always forgive but then I'll try my hardest to forget. No matter how hard you hurt me or say something mean to me. I will always forgive u even if I don't want to. It's like my curse to forgive anyone and everyone. I can't stay made at a person and I can't be mean to them. It's just who I am. I guess you can say I'm easy to screw over. All I ever want is for someone to be happy. To make people happy. Even if that means hurting me. Then im fine with it. I put people before my self. All the time.

Happily ever after

I'm so jealous of everyone. There all happy and together. Look at me alone and trapped in my own world. I hate feeling alone. But no matter how I must I try, I just can't do it. I can't escape myself. I hate myself. I know a couple that's been together 4years. Man what I give to be that happy. There so in love. And happy. Y can't I be like that? What I give to feel loved. To feel like I matter to someone. I don't choose to be like this. I just am. All I want is to stay in my room all day and never come out. I barley even talk to my friends, I don't see my family. I'm sad all the time. I forget what's it like to truly smile. To truly be happy. All I want is to be normal again that's all

People

I'm so annoyed with people. I opened up. I tell him everything he asked and begged for this. And what your going to complain to your fucking friends that it's to much to handle. Shit if u didn't want this then you should've asked for this. I warned him. Do they listen NO. Ugh all I want is for someone to actually listen to me and want to. I can't talk to anyone... Y is it so hard to open up. I don't want to ever open up again. In done. My mouth is close.

Pretend

some times it hard pretending that nothing happen. to pretend that everything okay when its not. i have a hard to going to school, sitting in front of my friends with a fake smile. i hate to pretend that's all i did. my whole life was pretend, that i someone else or (this one my favorite) pretend that I'm the prefect girlfriend. i try everything i can to impress every one i do mean every one. its so hard. i cant be myself around people, i don't... want them to know who i really am. I'm scared that i wont be accepted as who i am. i guess when u hear those girls shout out your fucking fake to another girl. i sit here and think that's me good old fake Riley.... if there is a person out there that i can be me. i would never let them go. i hate to pretend. i just want to stop it. but i cant. i wont. i never will even if i wanted to. its like that's who i am now. no matter how much i try impressing people always come first even if that's means going things i don't want to do. why does my life suck...? oh well til my dieing days that's i am. what makes me happy is that one person saw right through it I'm pretty good at this. i mean i never in my whole life thought that someone would find out. but he did he saw right through it and new i was pretended.

that is my life. I'm nothing but a fake bitch right? does that make it okay to act fake? even if I'm doing to make the other person happy?