cutting

i'm a cutter. i cut myself  but the other day when my friend an her cousin were talking about Demi her cutting problems. they asked me why i cut myself. to tell you the truth i really never thought about it.

• one reason is that its an addiction. after my 1st time cutting myself i was addicted to it. i just wanted to do it again and again.
• second reason is that i'm depressed when im sad i just do it to
• third reason is pain. when i cut i feel like it releases my pain. it hurt so much that i like it. it makes me feel better

last but not least

• i like to look at my blood when it comes out of my cuts. just the thought of it makes me feel better. 

i guess i have some serious problems right? my friend told me that the reason i like to see my blood come out is that its all my stress and pain coming out. witch makes since. i'm no always so depressed when i'm with him i feel like all my pain is gone. that no is nothing to worry about. i feel amazing and happy around him. he means a lot of me. i just want to be normal i want to be me. i don't want to be so unhappy. so depressed. i hide it the best i can from people and the few friends i have left. i don't like it when people see me sad. it makes me feel guilty.makes me feel bad. i feel like no one cares and that its wrong to be sad and depressed. so i hide it the best i can.