3Year over do update. Part 1

Hello everyone who reads my little blog or just happen to come across it

its been while since updated this or looked at it to be honest lol

so lets to the highlighted points. 

So the guy i was dating lets call him X, i have spent 6 years with him. So huuu i broke up with him in August, 2017. i had some sense knocked into and not in a good way. i am very undeniable loyal believe or not. i went over to a close friends house. he one of my best friends i think of him of a brother. i never let him touch me EVER but anyways yea i went over alone he gave me a massage and i gave him one back. i ended up spending the night with him. you can see where this is going. one thing lead to another and i cheated, for the first time in my life. i went home and reviewed my whole relationship and came to the conclusion that i was bloody blinded. i realize i didn't love him at all.

I only saw him once or twice a week he worked a lot i guess, i changed, we're both gamers, so we game a lot but then i change thanks to my lovely momma. i wanted to get up and get out more and see the world basically and go for walks and hikes, i wanted to share that with him but all i get from him is that i'm to tired from working (he worked 5am-2pm 5 days a week) i couldn't even get him to walk the dog with me. i always heard No over and over again. after 3 years of hearing that at some point i gave up on asking him to do anything with me and it hurt a lot that i couldn't share these amazing moment with him. after while i found myself separating from him. i no longer missed him. the time i spend with him i wanted it to be over and i wanted him to go home. so that's one big reason here few more.

I always did things for him and i never complained to him exactly, i did laundry, i founded his clothes and put them away and washed them exactly how he wanted it, cold water separate whites from color, hang dry some of his shirts with fabric softener and all that i did his laundry perfect. it was bit of hard work every week. and then i cleaned his room everyday all the time, he um quite messy. i even vacuum when needed. i even took care of the all our dog and cats needs alone. i couldn't get him to feed them half the time when i was feeling bit lazy.

I guess what i'm saying here is that i was feeling very much used and underappreciated. i cant blame him completely. i could have spoken up and told him how i was feeling and see if we could work on our relationship and make it better, stronger but here the thing one big reason i didn't really and ill tell you why TOMORROW <3. 

Well that was no highlight but still ! lol  its a big life highlight in my little existing life

tomorrow update going to make smile its basically my dream come true. 

Good night everyone love Rylee <3

Friendships/Best Friend

I'm venting to you guys because i really need to vent. i have this friend who i claim be my best friend we been best friends for over 13 years thats a long time but over the years iv been hit over and over everyday, verbally abused she likes to call me stupid and idiot all that and my favorite iv been left out of everything. i would never do any of that to my friends because I'm a great friend who there for them when they need me. i invite her everywhere! i take to parties, restaurants, the beach AND cruise to Mexico. i buy her whatever she wants if i have the money. i do nothing but give, give and give. I'm not asking for much here just some respect.

well today the went to the beach, i hinted out plenty of times i wanted to go i even went as far to say i wish i could a went. because she likes to tell me these thing as there on the highway she even said ok next time ill invite you. oh look its next time all i got was a text "woot woot going to the beach." i already knew that from that text they left and i got new invite. i was crushed. 

i just don't get it am i asking for to much? i know i should tell her how i feel everytime i do we end up fighting so i keep it in i cry and complain to my bf then i forget. i love and go by the quote "Forgive & Forget"  I'm forgiving now I'm going to forget after this post. its ok one day when she does something bad ill just give up and tell her what my problem is sometimes i think I'm at my breaking point. I'm not one of those people who post about a problem about someone online so they see it and there not sure who's it about but they have an idea its them, you get me? oh well i think its time to go watch a funny movie i have my warm tea i venting. i actually feel better. thank you everyone. I'm going to start putting up a poll vote so i can get an idea. it will change ever overtime i post. 

Love Rylee i hope you have a wonder day <3 because its 2:03pm here. maybe its night time there so Good Night! sweet dreams  

Poetry

   hello everyone
 sorry its been awhile life has been ok but i need to vent >.< venting makes me feel better. nothing much is new iv ben having more dreams about my x-bf i can't help but think about him. i miss him so much it sucks it makes want to hugs him and laugh with him and spend time with him moving on I'm learning to let go. letting go is hard BUT iv been thinking to myself lol i want to write a book i have an idea but Im not sure what i do with it after if i finished I'm not a much of a writer but i just feel like it and the idea i have feel great maybe interesting and different I'm not sure well see what happens i got my cat Zeus a new litterbox so he likes to eat it and sit on it o.o its looks like kinda like an ig glue its around with stairs. he kinda acts like a puppy he loves to eat everything it annoys the crap out of me. he ate my bf headphone 30 dollar headphones like 3 times. overtime i yell at him no bad cat you have my dog behind me and barking at the cat she's like my back up. so were both yelling at the ca. o.o overtime he does something wrong my dog there to stop him for me. OH before i get carried away the point of the tittle. i use to write poetry when i was sad it made me feel better it may not be good but I'm proud of it . . . .

Black As Night

A rose as black as night 

Blacker then the heart that acks 

Inside my dead body 

In witch thats colder then ice itself 

Paler then the full moon 

A heart that acks from being broken 

Broken from a man that betrayed me 

Betrayal the worst of them all 

No wonder why i can not bare my life 

A rose black as death 

Dead like the Red Rose that bleed 

from inside the heart. 

My heart that can no longer live 

I ack from pain that i wish was not mine 

I wish the my heart would stop 

I do not wish to live my life 

The pain is to much to bare.

this one not my first but it was one of my favorite. i only wrote when I'm sad it like a fire it gets me going. but i haven't been that sad in while so its been a long time since i written. but its ok one day ill find something else to inspire me and ill wrote practice my poetry and again. thats it for today

 Good night everyone i hope your having a wonderfull day love rylee

dreams #3

you have a dream about someone and you just miss them to death when you wake up then you can't stop thinking of them the whole day because u just need to see them but you can't either because your busy or they are or you guys just don't talk to each other anymore for some unknown reason. i had a dream about someone but you know other stuff happen so it made my dream 10times weirder. i wanna tell you I'm sure u wanna hear. lol i love hearing about people dreams there so interesting. ill tell you what i can remember.

i was in a hidden place with a shipwreck boat  half under water and half above water it was covered in those trees with the drooping leaving going down i was there with bunch of "my friends" that i knew we were looking around and we found out that the boat looked so familiar it it turned out to be our place we were in the past life a mermaid, we were reincarnated into people. we were so shocked and we were starting to get out memories back and were remember that we were running from this guy who was trying to blow us up and kill us. i was with this guy who (who i know in real life but i won't name so ill call him john), me and john got together and we wanted to get back together because we missed each other so much and we loved each other, i want to see him so badly when we got together we couldn't leave each other side i wanted to be with him so badly my heart would pound out of my chest. we lay in one of the rooms and on the boat together and talked and have fun i felt so happy and stuff. we got together with the rest of out friend had fun explode and got food we wanted to live her and stay then we looked out the front be hide the leaves and we say a guy in a truck in front of our hidden out we notice he looked like the guy who tried to kill us in our past life so we got worried and we told out friends to go and hide i squeezed john arm and  and looked at him and i really got worried. 

thats all i could remember. for right now. since iv been with my boyfriend i don't really have dreams i use to get night a lot to the point where i wake up crying and scared ill be in the corner of my bed bugging the light to turn i was so scared. now i just feel safe and there hasn't been a nightmare in a long time. i get weird dreams ever now and then but not so often.

ill end that there so i hope u enjoy my dream. :D Good Night Sweet Dreams Love Rylee <3

Pregnancy Scare

i had a pregnancy scare this week i was 5days late on my period my boyfriend wasn't so happy about me might be pregnant we aren't in the right place for a baby i understand that. i always wanted a little girl. i was happy and kinda scared but was secreting hoping for it. but on the 6th day when my boyfriend leaves out of town with his family i started my period. i usually start heavy but I'm really light witch is werid but i guess its nothing its the next day I'm still light but again its problemly nothing. i told my best friend i was just sad really sad. oh well he we talked about having kids told him ill name the girl and u name the boy because i already have a name for my lil girl picked out. its a secret, I'm in love with this name its just amazing, its from a video game i played after i heard her name i just fall in love with it and watched to name my daughter it. one day i guess.  but yea we talked and he said when were out living by ourself then well start a family. that made me so happy but yet sad because thats in the future it sounds so far away. i wish it was now there not much i can do til i learn how to drive and get a job so i can help make it come true. well live with his parents right now he has job working on getting his promotion. I'm learning how to drive so i can go out and get one and be able to get to it.

but whatever happened I'm so excited for the future with him. i wish it come already so i can have kids i want two one girl and one boy. i hope i have a girl 1st. <3 but like i said in the future. hurry future get here!!! lol well that was my pregnancy scare. ill end this here. its 2:30am I'm getting sleeping.

Good night everyone Love Rylee <3 

Shattered dreams

There nothing more annoying then looking for a job your get so excited then you ask to borrow a phone so you could call them and see if there hiring and they ask why i said I'm going to see if Body Xchange is hiring, then on his way he saying something i not sure what he said, then he comes back i said what u say u kinda walked out. he said they hiring people like body builders and people with sports background. i know people that don't have that back ground and they get the job. it just kinda hurts why can't you just smile and say good luck baby! that woulda made me feel better. if they don't want me ok sure whatever no hard feelings. may its just me being to sensitive i don't know but i like little support then i said what u trying to say, he said nothing then got upset. I'm thinking why you upset?! your the one who just shattered my hope of getting this job. throws the one on the bed and said ok go call. at that point i just don't want to call anymore I'm kinda hurt and just don't care about the job now. 

you don't have to be rude to someone. like say your mom said If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. i keep that very close in mind. i would never say something rude to someone, like hey you, your to stupid for that job its for smarter people. thats just rude at least give them hope and support and good luck. that enough will give them convinced  and a positive attitude they go in there with there head hell high and everything. i don't know i guess I'm little hurt that my boyfriend would say something like that. i have no job expenses at all none. its easy for him cause his  dad a manger of the store he works so his job was handed to him. i guess what I'm saying be nice and soft be rude and give people little love. that girl your sitting next to or your friend could be upset about something and you wouldn't even know saying something mean could bring them down.

I'm good at faking a smile but something just really hit home and hurt. kinda sucks. sooo

be nice, stay positive, smile. Rylee loves you!  and good luck with your goals in life. <3

kittens and love

my life has been going pretty well as of yet. there nothing to really blog about it, i blog when I'm upset. its been awhile for those who actually read this m very sorry. i don't want to blog about something boring. i want to blog about something meaning full. and stuff in the mean time up to date well i found a kitten, i love taking in strays and giving them homes but this one is just everything i want it him to be he's just cute and my boyfriend loved him to. i always wanted a black cat. he does the cutes things, we can throw a sock across the room and he'll go and catches it and brings it back. we found him at 6months he's now 8months around there. we found him before christmas. he's sweet i love him and he's very playful and hyper. kinda a cry baby, he doesn't like to be alone. strays really do make the best pets. they already know what its like to be out there in that world and they'll do anything to make sure they don't go back. he's great he brings me lots of cuddles and love and laughter.  I'm happy my dog likes him to. 

i guess there is something thats been bugging me it always has to do with my x-boyfriend as awhile. its weird how stuff just doesn't really leave your mind. i haven't thought about him in a month but then i had dream about him and the next day he texted me. my heart heated so fast it felt amazing but nerv recking, i don't want to feel that way about an x-boyfriend. i love the guy I'm dating now. and nothing will change that even a dream about the man i care so much about. 

so good night everyone, i hope your having a lovely day or night. ill try to keep you up today. <3 Love Rylee

my dream #2

i just now woke up i feel like i have to get this out of my mind hopefully this will help i just had  dream my dreams aren't normal i had nothing but nightmares for as long as i could remember but sometimes it be normal but getting to the point 

i was with some friends we were chatting about a lot of stuff i can't remember but then we started about wedding dresses how I'm about to get married to this guy right next me i have no idea who he is he's a stranger to me. but he started to talk to them about how i don't like he long types of dresses they seem to weird on me i was like oh whatever I'm looking something i like then i started to think about David how this just now started to hit me how I'm starting to regret this and how more and more times passes by then i start to this i can't do this i love David i want to be with me. 

then i woke up

a dream like this concerns me i worry about it I'm kinda one of those people who think dreams mean something. this i don't know what if its trying to tell me something /.\ then what do i do. i just don't know anymore. hopeful it means nothing it just a dream. i don't want it to mean anything so i won't let it mean anything i won't think about it anymore, it doesn't mean anything there it should stay in the back of my mind haunting me. waiting to resurface. it will problemly be back i know it will if i know anything about my dreams they always come back in one way or another. my dreams do nothing but repeat themselves.

i have to end this here i have a lot of stuff to do. /.\ so i hope everyone has a great day don't let anyone ruin it wether there in your life or in your dreams. i hope your doing amazing 

Love Rylee~

tv talk

i like to watch bunch of reality show, i don't watch a lot but i watch enough lol I'm curious and I'm bit nosey so if i want to know something my curiosity kicks in i will found out no matter what. one of my favorites to watch is snookie and jwoww. I'm watching there last season i found it interesting because now they both have babies now and they just makes me laugh there so funny i used to watch them jersey show omg that show was crazy. there a lot of drunking moments and really bad fights but a lot of drama. i like drama i just don't want to be in it. in high school i always manages to get in the middle of drama but i never tried to get in the middle i just don't know what happened. oh well lol I'm trying to type and watch tv on my laptop i type little and and then i watch the show I'm kinda forgetting what I'm talking about BUT oh so i have this best friend we been friends for over 16years we only had 3bad fights in our life time thank god. i have an amazing idea for her birthday coming up well its in april but i have get started soon. but anyways she has a lot come online friends she's met few times they live out of town so they don't get to hang out a lot but I'm going to send them her birthday card there going to sign it and bring it back its going to be sweet and she's just going to love it. ^.^ i did something long time ago when we were in middle school we went to different school even thro we lived across the street from each other we were still really close but i had bought a card and had all my friends signed it she didn't know any of them it was funny she loved it. i think she love this one more if it was her closet friends sign it. it just sounds amazing i hope sending it places won't cost a lot.  I'm excite i have to send it to Britain the UK it is so far away >.< it should cost much right? its just a little card. 

well even know its almost 5 o'clock dinner here in this house is really early so I'm going to go and eat so i hope lol so good night everyone or i hope the rest o your night are amazing ^.^ lol i see this kinda short but its ok i have more stuff to talk about i just don't want to talk about all in one day then o won't have anything else to talk about over time to you guys.

Love Rylee~

turkey day! & little bit of pokemon?

so as everyone knows ^.^ thanksgiving is coming up fast man I'm excited for it then I'm not excited for it. i have a broken family my parents are together but they still talk to each other like friends i guess thats what u can call it. since i live with my boyfriend and his parents that just makes more house to go to in since one day. i have about 4 to 3 houses to go to for thanksgiving all in he day and god i hate it. i have my moms house, my grandma G from my moms side of the family and then my other grandmas house and then i have to go get here where I'm living, >.< its just stressful and fatting becuz they make me eat at ever single house. there no getting out of it. i love thanks giving because of the food. i love turkey and the honey glazed ham and the pumpkin pie. its just so yumm. its a pain but now i have to drag my boyfriend with me because if i don't i get the where your boyfriend at? why isn't he here?? lol its like they except him to be with me at ever family event now because we been saying a hole 1 year and 9months now. but yea stressful. BUT OMG the new pokemon game is coming out Friday and I'm so excited because i preorder it and cant wait to go get it. I'm going to be stuck on it all day and and all night it doesn't take me long to finish the games. frankly i think there running out of ideas for pokemon. i mean i love the last game but the pokemon >.> there not the same anymore i mean come on whats with the trash bag looking pokemon thats not even... i mean its just erm. its disappointing thats all. i don't want them to stop but they need to stop. its going to get to the point where its just getting old and no one going to want to play the games anymore. they remade an old game? whats up with that?? i loved ruby and sapphire just the way they were. i played sapphire i loved all the water pokemon then and the contests were amazing but now I'm a fire pokemon trainer i power lol. i do indeed how a favorite fire type and mine is Arcanine <3 i have a thing for one of the eevee evolutions umbreon there my top to favs they are unstoppable team lol. but anymore still super excited i can't wait. huge pokemon fan. <3

dumdumdum i think ill call there it for today my boyfriend will be home soon i want to be gone with this before he gets home. still no one knows about it. i want to keep that way. i don't want anymore knowing about its me. lol oh well I'm having a lovely night and i hope you are two. <3 soo have a amazing night 

Love Rylee~

long time

i dont blog all the time I'm trying to get use to doing it because i really want to blog it makes me feel better, helps me get everything off my mind. >.> but yea no promise iv been doing nothing but playing video games. mostly minecraft now. i like to play online minecraft with my friends lol i have a friend who lives in Britain he has an amazing accent it just makes me melt i love it. i have a huge thing for accent. funny i don't like him at all he's not that cute. but he so sweet and funny when i talk to him i am in such a loving mood i wanna hug everyone. i love hugs there so tight and warming. i don't know. but as you all know xmas is coming up and thinking of what to get people is so hard especial when my boyfriends birthday is in the same month. so his birthday Dec 11 and xmas is 25th. >.< i have to think of 2 gift to give him and lucky me i thought of one to get him. so one down one more to go ^.^. i was talking to my x-bf where going to hang out soon. i really want to see him but a feeling i have in the bottom of my stomach is saying no its wrong to go see him. but i need to see him. i have so many things i wanna ask him and so many stuff i wanna talk to him about more i think about it the more nervous i get. but oh well whatever happens, happens. i been playing minecraft so much I'm super beside on all my anime and tv shows and some of my manga. i really need to catch up so badly. i think i might spend the night doing it hopefully i could at least knock out the anime and catch up thats most important to me. I'm watching this one its called Your Lie In April. it so good this  about this guy who can't play the piano anymore because he can't hear it, he still has his hearing it just not the same when he plays for himself and this girl who's a violist, little buy little she helps him bring back the spirt in him and helps hi play the piano again. I'm hoping they fall in love! they are so cute together, but the girl likes his best friend and he likes her. the boy likes her idk how she feels about him. rnq3igfbrgi4y idk it just so good you have to check it out.

i think umma  end this here for now i need to take a shower and start catching up on my shows. ^.^ so then i have more time to play video games. woo i love video games but man does it take up a lot of my time because i don't want to put it down. but anyway Good Night Everyone 

Love Rylee~

tattoos & piercings

so i was thinking of getting a industrial piercing but it turns out when i went down there and see all that stuff i don't have the right type if ear lol my ear is i guess flat in a way you couldn't put the bar in on one side of my ear its flat there no where to put it. soo i was disappointed i was looking forward to getting it done with my best friend but oh well but i woulda got it done to where they bend it little downwards to its at a angle but after thinking about that i decide no that but then i wouldn't be able wear a lot of bars it seems like i would have to spend more money so it wasn't worth my time or my money oh well there still tattoo i want to get i don't want to say tramp stamp but i want it on my lower back. its not a trampy tattoo and frankly i hate that word >.> makes me feel trampy for getting on down there but yea anyways i drop it out my self 4 or 6 years ago i basely poured my heart into this tattoo i don't think its going to be cheap i want it in color. with dark red black and a certain white color but not pure white but a maybe sandy white kinda like mummy bandages on there a certain i guess dirty color lol, I'm not good with color my best friend an artist when i say its blue she says no thats navy blue or midnight blue. you can just see me roll my eyes i be like same thing blue. she argue no this and that but oh well anyway yeah i have that tattoo in mine but ever time I'm in a tattoo place i forget to bring it with me so i can get a price range in how much its going to be. i don't want it small i don't want it to big either so it's gotta be just right (says goldilocks). paying for it going to be hard tho i have no job experience so finding a job its hard for me even in this town it seems like there no jobs ugh what a pain. i know i would do amazing in store that have to do with animals i know a lot and i learn fast when it comes to animals if only they give me a chance but all they see is no job experience next. what a pain that is plus i can't drive so I'm worried about that I'm trying to find something close to me. if i would drive i would find something lil further out but i can't I'm learning how to drive little by little. 

thats all thats on my mind today anyways I'm getting hungry its like 1:34 i been awake for maybe 2 hours i haven't eaten i don't really know what to eat there not a lot here in this house. i bought this big cork board i guess is what they call it for my boyfriend room he has a smaller one everything on his walls seems to have a place its mother doing my walls were like shit everywhere you couldn't see my walls. but yea i bought this big board so i can put replace is i could put some of my stuff on it and he can put more on it. idk i need to go shopping for shampoo and all that girly stuff I'm running low before i go and blow whats left of my money on junk i need certain things 1st ^.^ yupyup anyways Have a great day everyone!

Love Rylee~

the day

so i spent all day yesterday trying to book a hotel for LA Anime Expo ^.^ for 2015 I'm supper excited this will be our 3rd time going. the 1st time was just me and my best and then the 2nd time was me my best friend, my bf and hers now its going to be me her and my bf. you would think 3rd wheel bad and all that but we are all very close friends and there is no 3rd wheel. i won't allow there to be one. i know what its like to be a 3rd wheel it feels so bad. i hate it i make sure my best friend and my bf get equal attention. but yea were booked the hotel all we got to do is get tickets. were going for all 4days this time. 

I'm going to cosplay at this one I'm getting it specially order off this website call Darling Army. this is the cosplay I'm ordering. isn't it cute? i love it. i even have the big Edward Elric jacket. my jacket is signed by some of the cast of Full Metal. I'm trying to get it fully signed by the hole cast but that will take awhile. i can wait. i got it signed by 4ppl so far. getting this cosplay is hard she except 20 order at a time. and I'm wearing to my town anime convention in January. i picked the wrong time to order it to. its close to Christmas so she's going to super packed I'm hoping to order it this Saturday thats when she be open for order. I'm so excited for all the stuff to come. 

i can't wait for anime expo! ^.^ and February 14, is my 2year anniversary I'm so excited because i love my boyfriend so very much i never had a relationship where it lasted this long. my ex-boyfriend doesn't count cuz we were on and off for 3years never lasted more then a 3months. i gotta end this here my boyfriend asleep he just rolled over >.> no one knows about this blog its secret. soo Good Night Everyone

Love Rylee~

The Dog

so there this dog that lives in my neighbor and i love dogs don't get me wrong but he barks all day long and and all freak night it is soo annoying you have no idea its like bark bark bark bark. i'm just like ugh i sleeping here seriously ever now and then he would stop but he barks all the time i don't want to call someone about it i guess if u call you ever have to move out or get rid of the dog. i don't want to be that person. i don't even know who lives in the house or what house it is i would have to walk around and look to see. it sounds like the dog is outside all the time. i don't know if anyone actually spends time with the the poor thing. what if he barking because he's lonely i just don't know. i don't understand why this isn bugging anyone else i guess they can sleep at night. i guess it this happened a neighbor someone called because there little dog was barking none stop and someone went to there door and complained about it they moved out. my boyfriends family was worried about my dog she's a little breed i guess little breeds are yappers they call it. my dog is not a yapper she's bark at ppl who knock at the doors and other dogs ever now and then but she's os very quiet for a chihuahua mix. witch i am quite happy thank you very much. oh well I'm sure someone will complain  one day. i have bunch of game systems, i have ps2, ps3, wii, gamecube, N64 DS, and 3DS, i take good care of my stuff thats a lot of systems a lot of controllers and bits and so much dust >.< since i moved in with my boyfriend they play my ps3 i wasn't worried about it til my controller started to break witch pissed me off so bad i never broken a controller. his brother witch i have found out as a temper when he loses and slams my controller against the floor. he's a stubborn asshole and cheap. he's never going to replaces a 50 dollar controller. ps3 controller are not cheap so i payed for a new one spent 60bucks and got a 2year warranty I'm not going to tell him i got a new controller he can use the broken one ill keep the new one for myself. this is annoying i shouldn't have to keep a separate stash of game stuff for myself. but its whatever stops me from spending anymore money. 

i think I'm done for the day imam go back to my game ^.^ I'm doing amazing in she is super powerful I'm taking my time on the story mode of the game i do other stuff stuff i can master, I'm trying to make a lot of money so i can new armor. its not cheap >.> i wish it was but sadly its not. have an amazing day!

Love Rylee~

Happy B-late halloween

sorry it was halloween and my best friend came over we had a few drinks i forgot to blog. soo iv been thinking of getting a industrial piercing I'm actually going to go thro with it my best friend id going to get one with me its going to be fun. I'm more scared about the cleaning i wanna clean it right so it doesn't swell up real bad bleed ton. i don't wanna mess that up. ever tell me its hurt then other tell me no i didn't hurt at all. they said that about my belly ring to. that didn't hurt at all. so i don't think its going to hurt I'm worried about it. I'm going to get it done next week thats when my friend get paid. yea I'm excited and nervous at the same time. iv been talking to my ex and we are going to met up and talk. I'm excited but I'm very noise and curious person i wanna know whats been going on with him and his crazy ex and there twins. i wanna know why he shut me out for a year and then finally message me and wants to hang out. i know its stupid of me to go back to my ex boyfriend but were just friends and nothing more all my feeling fly out the door when he shut me out for the year. so I'm finally over that. lets me what else happened. oh i went shopping for clothes for the 1st time in 1years. i didn't get much i don't like shopping i got few shorts and a new sports bra i love it my sports bra its so comfortable to year! i hate wearing bras now. all i wear around the house is my sports bra and maybe when i go places to. >.> so yea lol.

im not sure what to talk about my game is going good. i still love it. my cats a jerk she stares at me from across the room. she doesn't wanna cuddle me anymore she cuddles my boyfriend more then she cuddles me. i think she's pisses off at me because i tap her on the head over and over when she try to stick her head in my food. it makes me so mad when she does that. i don't want car hair in my food I'm trying to eat. she knows not to eat my food but she eats everyone elses. she's eats like there no tomorrow. she's not homeless anymore food not going anywhere. i don't get animals something. but whatever they do what they will. she eats lil twice a day because she's getting fat. the only problem i really have with her is that she catches up the couch ill run  after her and say no! mittens she run away then go to the other one and do it. I'm just like seriously you ass cat. i love her to death but man she's mean to me. i hope everyone had amazing day yesterday I'm off to the shower. Good night!

Love Rylee~

My dream life

sorry i haven't been on in while i got new video game and iv been on it none stop. i stop to eat of course and other things but it so good i can't pull away from it. i love it!

i always dreamed about how I'm going to live when I'm older i got it planed it out. it makes me so happy when i think about it! i want to live by the beach on a boat wake up to that fresh air and lovely  ocean breeze. a boat by the beach just sounds amazing and peaceful and beautiful. everyone watch a big fancy house. nope not me i want to live simple. i would even rise my kids on the boat and they feel at peace like me. altho i told my boyfriend about this he took it personal and thought there wasn't any room for him in my dream. he left hurt he doesn't want to be with someone he doesn't see being with them in for long time. when i finally found out what he was thinking. i looked at him and smiled of course there room for you babe there always room for you. you can live with me or we can get a small house by the beach. i really love the ocean, it fascinates me there is soo much beauty in the ocean. so much mystery. somewhere in the deepest part of the ocean there so much we haven't discovered. there is so much life that hasn't been seem yet. habits that haven't been distorted my human hands its left beautiful. i have such a passion for it. we all came from the ocean we evolved. the would was once covered in water. it just so amazing. i care so much about nature and the world when i talk about it you can see how passionate i get about it and how mad i can be when u say other wise. i don't believe in god; sorry. i believe in mother nature; Evolution. its a real thing and everyone nose that. they just want to believe in other things to help them cope with stuff. 

On todays matter yesterday i found out there ton of wax in my left ear and its making it hard to hear. gross right? ew apparently cleaning my ears everyday for my entire life was my enemy it did this to me. -_- kinda makes me mad i cleaned to stop this and it happened anyways.  i been working on getting it out. it will take few days it will happen. i can't til I'm able to hear again. i think my boyfriend is getting tired of my blank expression on my face after he says something then i come out with a huh? what u say? lol he can read me pretty well just by the look on my face. i totally forgot what else i wanted to talk about. hmmm... nope ill think remember tomorrow where i will differently blog. Good Night everyone and have a lovely morning!

Love Rylee~ 

my dog

yesterday was my dog birthday she is 8 years old witch is like 56 years old in human. i did what any good person would do and baked her a lil cake. it was peanut better cake it kinda fell apart so i used the peanut better as icing to keep it to gather. lol i say it was a smart idea now it looks amazing it seems good to but it doesn't take good >.> we baked it at my friends house inside of my house because she spent the night to day before we had to take her to the mall then home, so i figured while were here why not bake it. housed very good peanut butter everywhere! i love to watch scary but there not much out there thats scary Annabelle wasn't scaring it just just creepy, very creepy. i don't like doll movies dolls creepy me out especially the old fashion ones, i had these to raggedy ann dolls when i was little they just sat there on my desk and stared at me it scared me i turned on the light throw them in the closet and that was that >.< no more dolls. i never played with barbies dolls when i was little i played with bratz dolls lol when i out grow them i gave them to my dog. witch was problemly a waste because years later my baby sister was born. i was a little bother who 15 now and my sister is 4 now. i love my sister so much! i always wanted one. i my brother lives with my mom and i don't talk to my brother at all unless he wanted something from me or my boyfriend. the kid turned into a brat. goes out with his friends and smokes but not my problemly i don't want anything to do with it or him. OH! i got a new 3ds game :D i got fantasy life it looks amazing I'm so excited to play it I'm going to to be stuck on my DS till i get my next game. i preorder 2 more games pokemon alpha sapphire and harvest moon >.> don't judge me i love harvest moon games. ill be on my DS a lot now. pokemon will only take me 3days to finish i usually play those games all day and all night. I'm a happy camper right now.

i think this will be the end for today i don't really have much to talk about nothing really happened just been regular 3day. have a amazing day everyone!

Love Rylee~

My 1st Anime Expo

ah this would be my 1st anime expo in Los Angles in 2012 i was so excited to go! we went for the hole 4days for the 1st few it was so much fun so much to see so much to buy. i had a blast. after the 4day there wasn't much to do. we saw a yu-gi-oh duel between to people they didn't it not with cards on a floor but with the disc things that go on your arm right? it was to look real. >.> but you know with out the all the stuff that goes on in the show. it was so fun to watch i wish they dueled again i had a front row seat to all of it. they did it in there cosplay as yu-gi-oh and Caba if thats how you spell it. i don't know how to spell his name i don't want to go look it up but i think you have the idea of you seen the show but for this picture to be honest i had no idea what it is. i just that the cosplay was so amazing he went all out. i wish i had a better angle on the picture i think it still a pretty cool picture. I'm going to go post it on deviant art but i might change it up little make it look cooler. while i was there i bought my 1st sword!!! omg I'm so in love with my sword. its thanks to anime expo is why I'm so obsessed with my swords overtime i go to a anime conversion wether its in my home town or in LA i buy a sword to 2. my collection it growing. it is soo amazing to have all my swords. ill have to show you guys my swords one day. 

that is it for the night or morning its about 1:16am on friday I'm still awake i need to get to bed soon soo Good night everyone 

    Love Rylee~

The Ex-boyfriend

recently iv been talking to my ex again. we always manages to find our way back to each other and start chating not matter how much it pisses people off. it makes me happy to talk to him. i love it. we plan to hang out sometime soon, he when we talk and share he always tell me that he's lonely and no one gives a crap about him anymore. i always tell him the same thing i been telling him for years i care. i always care >.< how many times do you have to tell a person before they finally get it? then he told me that makes me feel better. i said it should i been you this for years. i mean i have really every time we hang out i tell him i care. then he pushes me away. i mean like seriously? why you have to go and that? push me away. he wants to push me away then fine push. but I'm the only one who cares. I'm just so happy to talk to him again. <3

Flashback... 

i want to tell you something sad but heartwarming to me. 

   long time ago about 8 and half years ago i finally got my 1st puppy i names her Kiki she was the must amazingest dog i ever got from what i remember she was half pug, half Chihuahua. and half Pomeranian. she was gray with short curly hair. she was so cute i could never forget. i took her to the vet for her short and next few days she got really sick she couldn't live her not even to go to the bathroom and it broke my heart then one day my parents took her from my bed while i was asleep i woke up the 1st think i see if an empty dog bed and my mother walks in tells me we had to put her down she wasn't going to miss her. i cried all day. it still makes me cry when i think about it. the next day i walked into the my living room i see a big brown box i looked inside and what do u know its a new puppy. they named her maggie and gave her to me.

 i refused her i was upset about my lil Kiki  she made her way into my room i kepted pushing her off my bed over and over and over she wouldn't give up she keeps climbing back up and then i gave up i huge her and cried my eyes out on her. we have a rough time me and my dog maggie but she's turning 8 on the 25th. she never leaves my side. i love this dog to death. the picture is my baby girl maggie

Halloween

halloween is coming up! I'm excited ^.^ i love candy. its starting to set in that I'm getting to old to trick or treat. witch sucks D: becuz its free candy. me, my best friend and my bf went to a halloween the other day it was so much fun. i realized me and my bf have been to the halloween every year since i know him witch is only 3 years lol. we dated must of that. we were on and off 3times. this our 3rd go and been one year and 8months yay going strong. it was supper fun we tried on so many mask and hats and stuff. i had a blast

   we even did a Simons one where he was chocking bart i think that was soo much fun my best friend had fun with that one. lol we also did the turtles ones but there were only 3 of us i wish we had one more person so we can complete our team. we went out at night i had to go to the bathroom but they didn't have one there. we had to go next door to K-mart. there a bunch creepy people dressing up at night as clown scaring people and some of them are hurting them. i guess there apparently there caring weapons. I'm starting to get scared at walking out night in my town i don't want to run into them. what if they hurt me. ugh what is wrong with people why on earth would u want to that. i guess it start with this lady taking pics of her husband in the clown custom out I'm public for her magazines and then people got wind of that and started taking advantage of it. sure id understand wanting to scare people but my god you don't have to go and hurt them your making it unsafe for kids and teens and other people not to go out at night. so wrong

soo thats the end of today blog. I'm hungry I'm going to go eat. have a safe Halloween in 11days. and keep your pets safe and inside, there post going around that halloween is kill a pit bull day and other pets. be careful everyone. the world isn't as safe as it use to be. if it ever was.

Love Rylee~