Happily ever after

I'm so jealous of everyone. There all happy and together. Look at me alone and trapped in my own world. I hate feeling alone. But no matter how I must I try, I just can't do it. I can't escape myself. I hate myself. I know a couple that's been together 4years. Man what I give to be that happy. There so in love. And happy. Y can't I be like that? What I give to feel loved. To feel like I matter to someone. I don't choose to be like this. I just am. All I want is to stay in my room all day and never come out. I barley even talk to my friends, I don't see my family. I'm sad all the time. I forget what's it like to truly smile. To truly be happy. All I want is to be normal again that's all